You know I spent many of my single years wondering, how do moms do it all?
I mean they cook, clean, shop, make the schedules, organize the home, work out, make clothes, build houses, own empires...
Then I had a baby and realized, they don't.
Well at least I don't, and believe me I tried! I really did give all of my effort to do everything. I wanted so badly to be the super mom who cooked every meal, whose child starts reading at three months, who lost all of her weight at the hospital, whose house was spotless, and who leads ten charities! (Sigh)
This was not even the extent of my hope either. I also wanted to be the super wife as well! (read about that here)
I would even beat myself up about all the things I did not do, but "needed" to do. I just had to be "That mom." After awhile, I found myself losing confidence and extremely overwhelmed. I saw all of the moms around me and they looked like they had it all together. They always looked great, their homes were nice, their children were clean, and their hubby seemed happy. I felt like something was wrong with me. I would think,
"Why can't I get it together ?"
"What is wrong with me ?"
One day while questioning myself, I heard a gentle voice inside me say, "Nothing. Nothing is wrong with you." It was so freeing to hear that! To know that I'm OK. I didn't need to compare the way I lived to all of the moms around me. I realized, I had NO CLUE what those moms did or did not do. I was making assumptions of what they did based on the few times i'd see them or their homes, and then comparing myself to them. Comparison is a dangerous route to take and I am so happy I hopped off of it before I completely destroyed myself.
Furthermore, I actually talked with some of the moms. Guys, we do not, and can not do it all. Now don't get me wrong the moms I know are Workin' it honey! But as far as perfection goes, we are all far from it, and thats OKAY! The best advice I've received as a new mommy is, "Do what you can." So, that's what I do and I make sure I am giving those things my best.
This advice can also work for you single ladies too! I know we women struggle with comparing ourselves to others. But what I discovered is true for you as well, you have no clue what people are really doing! She might work out every day orrrr she may be naturally skinny. She may be the smartest in your class orrrr this may be her second time taking it. She might have the straightest teeth ever orrr she might be wearing Invisalign. I digress..
The Point is...
Comparing ourselves to others gets us nowhere. It makes us discouraged and dysfunctional. But when we do our best at what we can do (haha funny phrase), we excel and grow. So, thats the plan I'm sticking to. Will you join me?
ClassiCourtxo
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I <3 your blog Courtney!!!
ReplyDeleteAww Thanks Asha! I'm glad you stopped by!
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