Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Paradigm Shift

Something happened to me. Something changed. Do you ever have those life defining moments where you just feel... "different" down to the core? It feels new, it feels alive! You're excited because it is different and exciting, but you are also terrified because it is unknown.

New life has that effect.

The birth of ClassicBaby was not my first experience with new life, but the feeling was so similar.
In a single moment, my life was changed.
My goals, my dreams, and in the simplest form my daily activities. I knew that "babies change everything!" Although, I did not think that "I" would be changed.

Before ClassicBaby, I had been stuck in this life-sucking vortex of despair. I know I know, "But you're such a happy person!" ..And I am but, somedays were really low for me. It seemed like I was losing all of my friends one-by-one, I wasn't making connections at work, I wasn't excelling in my different roles,    I was a new wife, I mean the works! Honestly, I was placing my identity in the wrong things, and that had me in the fight of my life. I was an emotionally roller coaster. Sweet ClassicBoy stood by me through it all too, poor guy! I wasn't just sitting in my mess either. I was trying everything to get out of the pit I was in. I tried listening to sermons, praying, making new friends, you name it. But you know how sometimes you can want something from someone more than an actual relationship with the person? ie. Staying in a relationship with a guy because he buys you nice things. Yea, well lets just say it doesn't work! Needless to say, I was in a tough place and I was desperate to get out.

Then ClassicBaby was born!

Wow! Can I just say, children are the living expression of joy! I felt like I could finally come up for air! Well, that and I was completely distracted from everything not ClassicBaby related haha! But I truly did experience NEW life when my baby was born.

ClassicBaby helped to realign my life's focus. I mean when you have this beautiful child smiling at you all day, all you can do is cry out thanking God. I mean seriously, I was so overwhelmed with love! Then I remembered, that is how my father loves me! That's how he looks at, holds, speaks to, and cares for me. What a sweet reminder. 

I began to feel life growing inside of me once again, but not human life. No it wasn't the precious wiggles I had once felt. There was an overwhelming, empowering, all consuming life growing in me. With that, something changed in me. I can literally say, I am not the same and it is because of the LIFE in me!

As I look at my child each day, I see a gift sent as a reminder of how I am loved and cared for. That gives me life, and a great purpose to live the way I do! 

Have you experienced New life?

ClassiCourt xo

Post your insights, questions & comments below.

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